The Dark Lord is among us!

Horse Power equals Rendering

For those of you that might not be familiar with developing video games, the art component is about 70% of everything. It is the first thing people see. It is also what people usually base buying the game from. That and videos of gameplay. However, if your graphics suck donkeys, then your gameplay video probably won’t get many clicks, and not much play time.

For our games, and all the work I do, I use 3DS Max to render everything, backed by other modeling tools like ZBrush and what not. So a few years back my super stupid best friend Dave built me a render box which I was certain was going to be the end all render box. It was so powerful, I told him to name it “Deep Thought”, but when I got it, I realized a few weeks later that it had been named “Deep Throat”. What a dick! Never thought I would have a better box. At the time everything was going GPU based for rendering, until Max started shipping with ART renderer and Arnold (used in Blade Runner 2049). However, Arnold and ART are CPU based.

If the upside down cross scares you, don’t worry it is cancel out by this one!

So imagine my surprise when Dave shows up with a bottle of Rum and a completely new box named “NATAS”! This thing weighs as much as the Titanic. Most impressive, he did all the box art and design himself! Now for those of you that know Dave, the only thing he has EVER drawn is the same stupid picture of stick people on all fours sucking each others butts with a straw…always the same picture… So this is quite a break from that. (Though I haven’t look at the bottom, so I bet there are people sucking ass through straws) I’ll get back to the art in a bit.

So given that he new I use ART and Arnold for my work, he worked closely with Satan to create a system to do thy bidding! Here are some specs on the new Render Box.

  • Windows 7 Pro (wanted to stay away from 10 still)
  • 2x E5-2687w v2 3.4Ghz 8 core (16 – Cores Total)
  • 16x ECC Registered CL9 DIMM Dual (128 GB RAM)
  • 2x Samsung 860 EVO 1TB 2.5 Inch SATA III Internal SSD (2TB SSD)
  • 2x Seagate BarraCuda Internal Hard Drive 2TB SATA 6Gb/s
  • MSI Gaming GeForce GTX 1080 8GB GDDR5X (GTX 1080 AERO 8G OC)
  • Creative Soundblaster X-Fi XtremeMusic SB0460
  • Amazing paint and gfx by MoxyDave!!!
  • Cheap Chinese 24″ LED strip with remote (Kingwin?)
  • Magnetic devil skull
  • Farts and poop (for extra power)

Satan sells products don’t you know?!

Growing up, I had ultra stupid religious parents. I was subjected to many “church sponsored” lectures on how people in the music industry became super successful by making a pact with the devil. So by that logic, everything I create on this box should be super stupid successful, yeah? So Absolute Zero will probably win every award and be a quintuple platinum game! Whooooo hooo. Praise Satan* This is like if the Devil had an “Easy Bake Oven” Yo!

*For those of you that don’t know, I don’t believe in the existence of Satan, but don’t tell him that, because it might ruin our sales.

Building “NATAS” the Devil’s easy bake oven

About six months ago, Dave went out and bought an air brush. I thought, “Yeah, I’m probably going to be getting an airbrush for 20% of its value after the master of ‘Stick Suckers’ discovers that he can’t draw.” Then he shows up with this box. I am still amazed and in shock that he did this. Here is a couple shots of how he painted it.

Front Cover

Front cover of the machine. It did have some lights indicating the system was on, but dumb ass painted over those. 😛 It’s all good, I like the dark look anyhow.

Backside Skull Top

On the back of Satan’s Easy Bake is a skull which you can see here.

Skull with a Jaw

Then He took a stencil and airbrushed a jaw and some other cool stuff like Skittles Stars.

Branding the box

So here you can see Dave made his own Stencil to create the name for the box.

The paint is florescent in parts like the skull eyes, so glows with the LED back lit cross. The cross comes with a remote with several colors and modes. I like red, but you can pick any color you want. No, wait, you can’t because you don’t have one 😀 Only I possess the power of the oven! Yeah!

Faint “666” in smoke above handle
Love the Eye Glow when Blue is on

Okay, so I hope you enjoyed this blog about the Devil’s Easy Bake oven. Now I have to get back to work and bake some textures and render some stuff on this puppy. I’m working on a concept visualization project at work at the moment, so I won’t get to load this up until a couple weeks. Don’t want to transfer the 3DS Max license mid project.

If you have any comments or questions, let me know….

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